Loss or Disability of a Loved One

Some may argue that the death or disability of you or a loved one does not constitute an emergency, but I think the loved ones left to deal with this would definitely disagree. Losing a loved one to death or disability is incredibly stressful and requires a ton of work (and money). Getting all the necessary work done can be a very daunting task. This is where a little planning and a good overview of the process will really make things just a little bit easier (if that is even possible). 

This module attempts to assist you in getting your affairs in order as well walks you through some of the steps necessary to get through this difficult time. Some items can and should be addressed before this event ever happens, such as getting trusts and wills established, assigning beneficiaries, documenting bank and investment accounts as well as insurance information, and of course the contact information for all of the above. The following information will help you get yourself organized and will likewise help familiarize you with what will be expected, as well as some of the necessary steps that will be required in the event of the unthinkable.

Notifications

• Next of Kin, Relatives, Friends (Contact Information)

• Church Leaders (Contact Information)

• Employers

• Social Security Administration

Directives

• Living Will

• Wills and Trusts/Executors

• Beneficiaries

Information

• Computer access codes, usernames, passwords

• Emails, social media accounts, usernames, passwords

Funeral/Burial Plans

• Mortuary Contact Information

• Funeral Program Desires

• Pre-paid Mortuary Services, Burial Plots, Caskets, Vaults, Headstones, Transport Insurance

• Obituary (See Instructions and Detail Sheet below)

Resources

• Power of Attorney

• Life Insurance Policies, including Credit Union Life Insurance

• Health/Home/Car/Umbrella Insurance policies

• Retirement Documents, including Social Security

• 401k Information

• Financial Accounts/Passwords

• Safe Deposit Box key/location

Obligations

• Outstanding Loans

• Debts/Lenders

• Utility Accounts

• Service Contracts (Housekeeper, Groundskeeper, etc.)

• Tax Returns

• Tax Information for current year

Assets

• Home, Property, Car Titles and Deeds

• Business Details, Contacts, Ownership Contracts

Keepsakes/Personal Items

• Journals

• Birth Certificate

• Marriage License

• Family Pictures, Scrapbooks

• Patriarchal Blessings

• Genealogy

• Passports and other legal documents

Obituary Details

Heading: ___________________________________________________________________

Name, birth and death years, nickname, honors, etc.

Choose a picture (Young, Current, Side by Side, With Spouse, Color, Size?)

Died: Month________ Day______ Year_________ City_________ State/Country______

Cause of Death: _____________________________________________________________

Name: First___________Middle___________Maiden___________Last______________

Nickname (optional)__________________ Age (optional)________

Born: Month________ Day______ Year____ City__________ State/Country_________

Parents: Father:_______________________Mother:______________________________

Marriage: Spouse:_________________________Date_________Place_______________

Is spouse deceased? Date:__________________Divorced/Separated_______________

Other marriages: Name___________________Date__________Place_______________

Is spouse deceased? Date_________________ Divorced/Separated?______

Other Places They Had Lived_________________________________________________

Schooling/Degrees:_________________________________________________________

Employment:_______________________________________________________________

Church Membership:________________________________________________________

Callings:_____________________________________________________________

Public Service:______________________________________________________________

Hobbies/Crafts/Talents:______________________________________________________

Awards/Honors:_____________________________________________________________

Survivors (In Order):_________________________________________________________

Spouse

Sons/Daughters, including spouses

Parents

Number of grandchildren/great-grandchildren (names optional)

Brothers/Sisters including spouses

Preceded in death by (from categories above):__________________________________

Funeral, Viewing, and Burial Details: __________________________________________

Special Requests (i.e. Donations to charity in lieu of flowers):______________

Writing Obituaries

Obituaries are as unique as the person whose life has just ended, so each one has its own personality.

There are many advantages to having an obituary prepared ahead of time. First and foremost you are not preparing it when you are emotionally distraught at the loss of a loved one. Secondly, other members of the family can have their input, making corrections or additions. Thirdly, there are so many other things that must be handled at the time; such as informing close relatives and friends, contacting the bishop and checking on availability of the church, choosing flowers, casket, clothing, burial plots, legal information, preparing talks and making arrangements for the funeral. Lastly, there is less chance of error, and you will feel better about what has been written.

Obituaries are sometimes done with the help of the mortuary. Often they will facilitate publishing the obituary to their own or other websites or newspapers. You can provide the picture, prepare text, and submit it to them over the internet. After consultation with the family, they may add the information on the funeral, viewing, and burial, coordinating availability of services involved with mortuaries, churches or cemeteries. You will decide how many days, and where you desire the obituary to be published. Be sure to clarify/approve any fees they or newspapers may charge.

Headings

Name: (First) __________(Middle)__________(Maiden)________(Last)________

If there are names from previous marriages that you feel need to be included make sure you add them here. 

Beneath the heading, families often choose to add a nickname, a sentiment, dates like 1924-2009, or something that sets the person apart or reflects their personality.

Picture Options

There are any number of options that may be used for an obituary -- a current picture, one that reflects their prime, a picture including their spouse (deceased or not), a younger picture on one side and a more recent one on the other side, etc. 

Announcement of Death

The first paragraph of the obituary usually indicates the full name, date of the death, and cause (if this is sensitive, it may be generalized or omitted), and place of death. (Do not include an address, as this is an invitation for the home to be vandalized during the viewing or funeral.) Some people even opt to have someone stay at their place of residence during the viewing and funeral. Copies of obituaries are often saved by family members and are used for genealogical purposes, so make sure dates are correct.

Birthdate and Marriages

The birthdate, place, and parents' names should include the mother’s maiden name. If the deceased was reared by someone, such as a grandparent, aunt and uncle, or adopted by someone, this information may be included.

Details on marriage of deceased, should include names, dates, places, and sealings, if applicable, while being sensitive to any family or extended family concerns regarding spousal deaths, divorces, etc. Other marriages, if any, should be recorded with the same detail.

Activities and Accomplishments

Included in this paragraph are the unique interests, activities, or experiences of the individual, such as places they have lived, schooling, degrees, employment, church membership and callings, public service, talents, hobbies and crafts, awards and honors. People who read the obituary will want to know if this is the same person they might have known earlier in their lives. This is the colorful, interesting, enlightening and memorable section of the obituary.

Survivors

Begin with the spouse, sons and daughters (including their spouse’s name; city of residence optional). Parents (city of residence optional); number of grandchildren and great-grandchildren (names may be used instead of just a number); brothers and sisters (including their spouse’s name; city of residence optional).

You may choose to list those who preceded the deceased in death. There may be a surviving brother or sister-in-law with whom the family is very close. You may want to list that person among the survivors, as well.

Funeral, Viewing and Burial

This information needs to be decided with the help of the mortuary. 

The time and place of the funeral also needs to be coordinated with the person conducting the funeral services. The cemetery needs to be contacted to work out the timing for the opening of the grave and, if desired, setting up a canopy and chairs for the family for the dedication of the grave. Place of burial is also important information for genealogical purposes.

Some families choose to have donations sent to a charitable organization in lieu of flowers. If possible, include an address where the donations may be mailed.

Page updated: 3/5/26